People fear a lot of different things. Some things I understand, and some I don’t. I can see where someone might be afraid of spiders, or of being in a large crowd of people, or even one of my personal phobias, flying. But until recently, I had never feared being alone. Then my life changed forever.
I got involved with a Saudi man a few years ago. The relationship developed, and before long, I was pregnant. Not that it was something I had planned for, but I knew immediately that I wanted to keep the child. When he found out, he suddenly distanced himself. I found that he no longer wished to be seen with me, and that he only stopped by late at night to speak to me on the odd occasion. Before long, he had completely extracted himself from my life, leaving me with no one to speak to, no one to quell my sudden fears about the future, no one to hear my desperate frustration. Alone.
My family wasn’t exactly supportive of the relationship when it was going well, and the turn for the worse only seemed to give them justification to use words like “comeuppance” and “just desserts”….hurtful by any stretch, but especially from the people that are supposed to be your lifeline in times of need. So instead of speaking to anyone, I sat. Alone in my office. Away from my children. Away from friends who wouldn’t understand. Away from strangers who would point and judge. Isolated. And that is when I truly learned to fear being alone.
Days went by as I listened to voices in my head that had come to replace the voices of others. Voices that yelled at me, insulted me, berated me for being so gullible. So naive. So easy to take advantage of. Voices that would never forgive me for bringing a completely innocent child into a world where his father wanted nothing more than to be thousands of miles away from him. Night after night these strangers in my head would tear me down, sapping my energy, my will, and making it so hard to wake up in the morning that sometimes I wished the dawn would simply never come.
I don’t know exactly what it was that gave me direction again. Perhaps my anger for the man who had abandoned me and my child. My desire to push forward and put this part of my life into a dark corner, never to be revisited. My need to take care of my kids. Or maybe something else. But whatever it was, it was enough to push me to get answers. Information. Because there was no way in hell my child should suffer just because a sperm donor with piss poor judgement decided to miss out on the life of a wonderful child. No way.
The next few weeks went by fairly quickly. There were calls made to the local college, the embassy, doctors, and any friends who were still around to listen. My fear of being alone had been replaced by a fear of what could happen to my child if he didn’t have financial support, or family medical records available. And so I made calls. And I searched. And emailed. And called some more. The internet became my one stop source for any kind of help I could get my hands on. And then….a funny thing happened. I found a blog written by a woman with strikingly similar circumstances to my own. And then I found another. And another. And suddenly, all the fear I felt was replaced with something quite different. Anger. Anger at what was apparently closer to an epidemic than an isolated problem. So I let the anger fuel me, and I redoubled my efforts.
My son is 2 years old now. He has a smile that could light up a room, and is smarter than I could have ever imagined. I don’t have as much anger left for that Saudi man any more, simply because I feel pity for him whenever I watch my little boy run and play. He is a joy to behold, and anyone who would deprive themselves of that simply does not know what they are missing. Moreover, I don’t fear being alone anymore, because during all my research, I was able to communicate with several other women who were in the same situation I was. As silly as it sounds, even though we were miles, sometimes even oceans apart, we shared a common bond. And we had all persevered through it and come out stronger. I am sharing this with you because I know what the fear of being alone can do to someone in that situation. It can cripple you. It can paralyze you. And it can make your life a living hell from the moment you wake up until the moment when your last ounce of strength has been used up, and you expire at night. I am here to say that if you are reading this, you have no reason to feel that way. Ever. You are not alone. There are many of us, and we are all willing to help, to have our voices heard, and to say to whoever will listen that we are many, we are united, and we will never live in fear again.
I’m an American woman with a Saudi son, and I’ve spent half of my life in the Middle East… and my permanent home is in Saudi Arabia.
As terrible as this may sound, your child is better off without a Saudi father around. The majority of Saudi men are ruthless. And those from SW Saudi Arabia are the worst (e.g. Asiri’s and so on). I learned the hard way, and lost my youth and almost three decades trying to figure out Saudi men…to which there is NO answer. Do yourself and your child a favor…and move on. That is the best thing you can do for your own well being. And the best thing you can do for your son is to find a good man (non Saudi) who will accept him as his own child. Good luck.
I completely agree that my son is better off not having his biological father in his life. The kind of person he turned out to be brings me such sorrow and shame.
I have been blessed with a (non saudi) husband who loves my son just as if he was his own flesh and blood. As to moving on I do believe to many women do just sit back and accept that the biological father wont be involved whatsoever.
In the cases involving Saudi men on a student visa having relationships getting women pregnant and abandoning them,it is slightly different because none of them were married. If we just move on these men learn nothing and makes us women look weak.
deb can you please get in touch with me..regene999@hotmail.com
I feel sad for what happened to you.
I hope God helps you.
I would like to tell you that Saudi’s men are more men of the world dirt and malignancy.
And they looking to Women only as fun for them.
As Saudi women we suffers a lot from them and they do the same with us . They are liars and demons and selfish.
God bless continue they deserve .
I wish you success.
Don’t generalize Aamaal.. yes there are Saudi men’ doing like these bad deeds but not all of them. the mentality of Saudi men differs from region to another.. family to another!
no words for u. ” racist”.
but still i believe this never happens in any part of the world no ?
try to figure urself not them coz u came to a different culture if it is not for u don’t through these racist words against them.
i wish u all the best i hope u rid ur heart of such hatred.
Dear, the thing its any part of the world a religion is as COMPUSLORY as it is in Saudi Arabia.I was envolved in a relationship with a Saudi, and sadly I realized all saudi student one of their main porpuse was have sex with…whoever they could.I have ever felt more like a piece of meat.Once I did not if I was pregnan from him.He tells me that the better for the two of us was to take an abortion.CAN YOU BELIVED??? You Saudis are suppose to be an example for the Beauty and the perfection of Islam…no a blond wester who you dislike too much.Thank God this men cursed me because of my religion point of view and it was the moment when I started to move on.I CONGRATULATE THE CORAGE OF THIS WOMEN.
Ur racist and rude “generalizing” that bad description on most of us Saudi men. Did marry to 20 million Saudis or it was just person?! Racial and regional slurs r total ignorance too. If i were in that looser shoes i will accept the reality and raise my kid with love i mean he is my Blood n Flesh what wrong with some so called men! Take the responsibility for ur mistakes! The women burden part of it. Its her mistake too but at the end of they day both must stand together
as grown up wise adult and sacrify their personal life preferences for the sake of providing such a love-full happy life environment for their kid. Sorry for my bad english i used translator for some words.
do you have a personal email address i can contact you with some suggestions?
saudi_children_left_behind@hotmail.com.
Its great to know that you are moving on and not harboring resentment, nothing good comes out of it. At some point you have to let go of past and look towards the future.
I wish you and your son the best of luck for future and I hope you get all the happiness in life.
Thank you for your kind words. I try to take it day by day and I know that I am blessed that I get to see my sons smiling face every day, I will never forget how lucky I am.
I am the son of a Saudi who was on a student visa and left when I was two months old. I found my father one year ago through Facebook and he claims that he has been looking for me my whole life but I don’t feel that way. He will speak to me and then I won’t hear from him for over a month. When we do talk and if I get upset he hangs up and doesn’t speak to me for awhile like he is punishing me. I don’t know what to do because my whole life I looked for my father and now that I have found him its much worse than when I just imagined him. It’s hard to be of Saudi heritage living in America and to not know where you come from and then to have a father who casts you aside like you are nothing.
I have a daughter from a saudi and would love to talk to other mum’s who have mixed race kid’s, i mean half saudi kids… please pass emails to me if u intrested in chatting… Thank’s
Hello Sara feel free to contact me any time. My email is saudi_children_left_behind@hotmail.com. You can also reach most of us on Facebook. http://www.facebook.com/SaudiChildrenLeftBehind
Hi, I feel sorry and sad for your situations. I can’t imagine how careless those men were!! Anyway, I’m Saudi and I really want to do you a favor and help you. I’m going to talk to an orgnization in order to take an action. At least they would give you a financial help to raise your innocent children.
Mohsen,
Thank you so much!!! Please let us know if you have any luck with any organizations, they tend to ignore all of the pleas that come from us.
Salam Jennifer,
It’s my pleasure to do my utmost to help you. I’ll be back soon after reaching the right Org, or person.
take care,
check your e-mail, please.
Got it thanks a bunch
Hi, Muhsin as much as most of us on this forum hate to act like we need financial for our kid’s the bitter reality is dat we desprarately need it, so please let us know what the orginization say’s once u’ve spoken to them….
Hello
I am Mohammed from Saudi Arabia
Do not speak English well, I use google translator
And I’m very sorry for what happened to you and your son
These people do not represent the Saudi people
And if you want any help, “Saudi authorities numbers .. Ministry of the Interior and the Ministry of Foreign Affairs
Or daily headlines for publication
I’m ready for it
Thank you so much for any help you can offer. If you can e mail me the number to to Ministry of Foreign Affairs that would be great. My email is saudi_children_left_behind@hotmail.com.
Thank you again for your help.
I know how hard to raise a child without a father. Especially in America. I hope his father realize that , and may God grant you patience and help to raise your child and i can assure that your child will return the favor when he became a grown man God willing.
Ali Saudi student Canada
As much as this might sound like a joke, but have you contacted the Saudi Human rights org?
I am really sorry for your pain and suffers. I am a Saudi guy who feels ashamed of the actions taken by these irresponsible and bad guys. I don’t think they have human feelings at all! How could someone leaves his family behind and lives in peace with himself!! Publishing your stories on this blog and social networks websites is the first step in right direction to get your and your sons’ rights. Such blogs will make these guys and who tends to do the same to think many times before taking irresponsible actions. Hopefully this makes them fear that their relatives or friends know what they did. I hope you continue your efforts to raise your concerns to organizations that might help in your situations; such as:
1- Awasser (ArabIc word for connectIons) Organization: The job of this organization is to resolve the issues of Saudi families or sons who have been left by their fathers outside KSA. You can give it a try although the English version of this website is not yet finished. This is the link:
http://www.awasser.org.sa/index.php?page=home
2- National Society for Human Rights in SA
nshr.org.sa
3- Ministry of Interior:
http://www.moi.gov.sa
Or it would be better to talk to any organizations in the US that could help in raising your concerns.
Here are some advices for girls who want to make relationship with a Saudi guy:
1- Never ever trust a Saudi guy who wants to get laid before marriage. He will leave you at the end and look for another girl who didn’t have any relationships to marry her. This is part of his core values that he wants to marry from a girl who never had relationship before.
2- You might trust the guy who asks you for marriage in order to continue the relationship and before having sex although you need to be very careful. As I said, you have to be careful before moving on because there are some guys who ask for marriage while they keep in minds to get the divorce before leaving your country. Strange hah! Your surprise will go away if you know that there are some stupid guys who follow the words if some corrupted “Shaiks” or “Muotua” or “Religious men”. Some of those religious men say it is Ok for men who travel outside to get married while they secretly plan to divorce at the end in order to avoid getting laid without marriage. I know this sounds insane but we have lots of those fucked up idiots and we live in a fucked up society that take its values from bad and inherited habits. We young people will try to fix this but we don’t know when we can succeed.
3- Try to use Google to know about the values of other partner’s society before taking the high risk of continuing relationship.
4- What is the harm of keeping the relationships limited only on guys who lives the same values and believes as yours? Believe me they are many. They are more handsome in your eyes than the expat!
5- If you need final advice, try to avoid getting married from a Saudi guy even If he Is honest because it is rarely you can find one who accepts to stay out of Saudi forever. He will bring you to Saudi and you will get social shock. As western girls, you will never ever like to live in KSA. Every thing here is totally different than what you used to live with. Believe me we even Saudi young people hate living in such no-freedom and less-rights country but we don’t have choice. This is our country and we have obligations and commitment to fix things up.
6- As a third party observer, you girls also could be blamed to what happened because you just move blindly with your desires without thinking of consequences. You didn’t try to minimize the risk!
Before wrapping up I want to comment on Dep’s comment. You don’t have the right to blame most Saudis especially the SW part of it because I am living there and know exactly the situation better than you. You should blame your husband and yourself for getting married. It is so obvious that most marriages containing partners from totally different world will not work well. You simply run behind your desires while you have other choices to fulfill them and you blamed whole society for your mistakes!! I will not think to get married from non-Arabic women not because the rest are not good but because our society values are different and the chance the marriage fail is very high. So obvious so simple. So please try to be responsible for your actions and be logical in judging others.
like all of this advice..wishing you a successful marriage..lucky girl to get such an enlightened guy..saudi and western cultures very difficult to mix.bravo
don’t think so, i think ur wrong coz humans are the same all over the world the real problem is some of those girls tried willingly to get pregnant ( no one can deny it ) maybe to bind the boyfriend by his coming child as she knows he will return to his country. ( love or taking advantage reason ).
there is a million ways not to get pregnant unless the girls decided it i think.
who said it was mutual decision? the girls should not plan this alone and blame the guy who was victim of there poor judgment and planning this is a dangerous immoral game.
sure it is not always the case but u have to agree that there is some of the cases here would fall in this category.
and the naming and trying to blame a society and a culture and to tag them i did not see that anywhere like ( Italian in Americas)
i have never read a title like i had a son with a french or Italian guy and he did not want it and left me alone lets group and make a blog about Italian or french men, if there was i would like to read it plz.
i sympathize with the child’s and some of the girls who did not plan this alone behind there boyfriends and try to get advantage but i am really angry of so much of what is going on ur site that would cost u ur case in the eyes of the public u have no right to talk about us like that.
وش يحس فيهه ذا ؟؟؟
هههههههههههههههههههه من جد
قققلت ادددددددددب والللهه !
صدق بزارين وخذو بعثات … والله لو اني مسئول في السعودية لاجيب ذا البزر الي تزوج ونطل ولده مع ذا اكفار واجلده قدام الناس لين يعض الارض … قليل الحياء
اكيد لازم البزر ينجلد لين يصير رجال لكن اللي ضحكني اول تعليق من وحده امريكيه تقول انها عاشت نص عمرها في السعوديه وقالت ان اخس الناس هم اللي عايشين في الجنوب… هههه والله ماالومها حنا لين الان نعاني منهم
Hello everyone. I would like to thank you all for taking the time to view the blog and make comments. Those who posted in Arabic I am working on getting them translated to I can reply properly so if you don’t see your comment listed it will be approved as soon as I can get it translated.
First off I want to thank all those who have been supportive and sent messages offering help. Words can not express how grateful I am for all of your kind words. You have shown the world that there are wonderful people in Saudi Arabia. and you all are proof that not all Saudi’s hateful.
Now for all that have chose to be cruel and leave comments saying that we are whores and are blackmailing the men for money…..Well in what world do you live in where when a woman tries to find the father of her child it is blackmail? I do understand why some in your culture consider us whores, but thankfully I live in a free society where we don’t treat others in that manner.
Any woman who is currently in a relationship with a Saudi man please know what you are up against. You will find wonderful people who will be supportive but on the flip side many will not approve and if you find yourself pregnant with a baby by a Saudi you might find yourself on the receiving end of these malicious comments.
I created the blog so other women would never feel alone or have to stand up alone. Your cruel comments only make me stronger and show me and the world why it is so important for us to stand up together against all those that would curse us.
Ladies be strong and don’t let the distastefull comments bother you use them as the fuel that keeps you going. Remember we are doing this for our children and in the end it will be worth all the pain we have endured.
dear even in ur culture the child would be called a bastard and the mum would be called a whore ( for some people ).
u say some girl would ( find herself pregnant ) do u hear urself? find herself?
IT IS HER DOING AND PLANNING ( she should involve her boy friend in the decision of having a child ).
plz it is the truth we can not hide it if u want him to be responsible for u and ur son u should always involve him in such big decision as ( finding urself pregnant ). otherwise it is ur soul decision and consequently ur responsibility alone to face the outcomes !
i think this is only fair.
but i really don’t want to see any girls get her heart broken coz i know how sensitive and fragile they are. but still nothing good comes from planning behind somebody else and involving him in ur plannings without him knowing.
Huh- It s not fair. In current western society it is acceptable and even expected for women to date abd have relations before marriage. I am a western woman who is also a muslim. I met and married my muslim husband in the US and now live in North Africa. We are verymvery happy and expecting our 5th child. I find your remark about having these women “involve” their partner in their “decision” to get pregnant laughable. Are you suggesting that these men are unaware of the biology behind reproduction? When you have sexual relations with a woman you risk pregnancy- period. No birth control method short of sterilization is fullproof. The men involved in these relationships have fathered children and they are financially and morally responsible for them period. As Muslims they are responsibel for their actions to an even greater degree than the mushrikun who carry their children. It is NORMAL behavior in her culture- but NOT in YOURS. Also- lets not ignore the deceptive nature of these relationships in many cases. The man often does many things that signal to a western woman and her family that he is serious about her and her welfare. He meets her parents and family and spends time with them. He makes a home with her. It is completely unnacceptable behavior. I agree that many men of many cultures abandon their children. I would love to see all fathers made responsible for the support of their children- regardless of where they come from. Gentlemen- if you fear allah and the last day acknowledge and support your children. Period.
Actually….
Men can use condoms (كبوت) to stop getting women pregnant. Women can take birth control pills (حبوب مشان ما بصير ولد) to stop getting themselves pregnant.
Sometimes – احيانا – condoms split during sex which can lead to unplanned pregnancy. Sometimes the birth control pills don’t work because they only work 98% of the time (so there is a 2% chance of pregnancy).
Accidents – حوادث – happen by mistake.
Sex before marriage with multiple partners is expected in America and most of the world, actually.
عنجد، في اغلبية العالم الناس بيتوقع نيك مع اشخاس كتير قبل الجواز…عادي
i feel so sorry for u guys.However, I will help u guys for anything you need!! just let me know what do u need and i will do my best .>>
how can u help?
افضحوهم خذوا حقكم منهم ذولي عديمي المسؤولية ..
يعني البنت اللي اغرت الشاب ورضت انه يجامعها قبل الزواج وبدون ن واقي ماتحمل ولا واحد بالميه من المسؤولية؟ الحقد معمي عيونك يالفاشله كلهم الثنين مخطين وانا لو مكانه قسم بالله مخلي ولدي برضى بالواقع وبعيش سعيد بس قسم ماخلي ولدي يتيتم وانا عايش
Saudi people are smilier to other nations , saudies do not hold the responsibility for an amateur sexual experience that led to a child. Getting pregnant is 99 percent is the lady responsibility , do not have unprotected sex if you do care…people who got married are exceptional point of view.
I am sorry that there are kids involve in this matter and they are the once who suffer .
Mat,
Men can use condoms (كبوت) to stop getting women pregnant. Women can take birth control pills (حبوب مشان ما بصير ولد) to stop getting themselves pregnant.
Sometimes – احيانا – condoms split during sex which can lead to unplanned pregnancy. Sometimes the birth control pills don’t work because they only work 98% of the time (so there is a 2% chance of pregnancy).
Accidents – حوادث – happen by mistake.
Sex before marriage with multiple partners is expected in America and most of the world, actually.
عنجد، في اغلبية العالم الناس بيتوقع نيك مع اشخاس كتير قبل الجواز…عادي
I really feel so sorry for what they did with you .
How could they leave their kids fatherless!!!Godless!!
this is really unbelievable and against Islam teachings.
it’s true that the Saudi men are really ruthless because i live in Saudi since 7 years with my husband (non Saudi )
umdeema.com
im feeling shy for what they are doing right now i wish u can get what ur looking im sorry they are not mislam they very stobed
what they did id not acceptable, they have to back to them families. I am Saudi guy, in our habits, leaving your family and children like this is BIG SAHME.
Ii want to ask American women .. is that marriage by Islamic way?
maybe that help u to talk your rights.
Mostafa,
It doesn’t matter whether people are married or not or Muslim or not. In Western culture someone who is the father of a child has a responsibility to bring up his children. Not even money is necessary – simply being their and showing the child love and support.
مو مهم إذا المرآة متزوجة والله لا. بالغرب الاب لازم يحمل المسؤولية للولد مع الأم…مو بس بحسب المصاري لكن مع حب والدعم العاطفي
ربنا لا تأخذنا بمى فعل السفهاء منا
Is it only Saudis who do that?
are american people angles?
go to one example of a black page and an ugly face of america
http://uakoko.hubpages.com/hub/The-Forgotten-American-Children-Of-Vietnam
America’s Disgrace—American Children Left Behind
The Vietnam war dragged on for ten long years. During that time, American soldiers formed relatonships with Vietnamese women and, from those relationships, children were born.
Then the unthinkable happened. Suddenly, the war was over, the Americans were hastily leaving, and North and South Vietnam were being reunited.
But what about the children of the Americans who were being left behind—the Amerasians? As part of the American evacuation, Operation Babylift was planned to airlift 2000 orphans (a mere drop in the bucket) to America. The first planeload crashed, killing 144 people, most of them orphans. But the airlift went on for three more weeks without further tragedy.
However, thousands of half Vietnamese half-American children were left behind. With their fathers ordered back home, who was left to protect their little children? The Vietnamese mothers, after their American protectors left, were almost all living in dire poverty. These women were forced to do what women have had to resort to through the millenia: find a husband to support them. These new husbands usually didn’t want their new wives’ funny-looking children. The children, with their round eyes and other markers of foreign parentage, were often abandoned at the doors of orphanages, or simply thrown out into the streets to fend for themselves.
The Amerasian children grew up shunned by Vietnamese society. They were made fun of by other children, called “half-breed dogs” and other taunting names. They were often physically assaulted. Living on the streets as beggars, they weren’t able to attend school, and so faced the future as illiterate and unskilled adults.
But in 1985, an American photographer on assignment in Ho Chi Minh City (Saigon) took a picture of a crippled Amerasian street boy which touched the hearts of all who saw it when it was published in newspapers around the United States. That picture led to the Amerasian Homecoming Act which was signed into law by President Ronald Reagan in 1987.
Suddenly, all the formerly despised street children became pearls beyond price to the Vietnamese people. Because these children (who were now mostly in their twenties) were allowed to bring their relatives with them on their journeys to America, their former tormentors saw them as free tickets to the land where the streets were supposedly lined with gold. All at once the bewildered children found presents, money, and (best of all to the love-starved children) attention raining down upon them. Many succumbed to the blandishments and brought strangers with them to their new homeland, where they all came as immigrants, not as mere refugees. However, once in America, most of the new relatives deserted the kids. The long-suffering children once more found themselves on their own.
Many of the Amerasian children did very well. Those who had been kept by loving birth families and who had learned to speak English took off like rockets, got themselves educations and good jobs. But many had a tougher row to hoe. Children who had grown up on the streets had trouble adjusting to structured environments. Street children who were placed in American foster homes had great difficulty in going to bed at a certain time, going to school at certain times and even having meals at certain times. There were many mental problems among the new immigrants, including many suicides. Growing up alone, unwanted and abused, it’s no wonder these young adults had trouble surviving in a strange land.
Eventually, the successful newcomers banded together and formed societies, such as the Amerasian Fellowship Association which now help their less unfortunate compatriots and foster pride in their common origin. These societies hold sit-down dinners all around the country several times a year where Amerasians can meet and talk story with each other.
The treatment of the half-American children left behind in Vietnam at the end of that pointless and wasteful war is a shameful blot on the history of the United States. In 1970, the U. S. Defense Department put out a statement, “The care and welfare of these unfortunate children…has never been and is not now considered an area of government responsibility”.
Contrast this cold-hearted and unfeeling statement with the treatment that France accorded its half-French children when France was defeated at Dien Bien Phu in 1954 after a century of colonial rule of Vietnam. France immediately sent all of its children of mixed parentage back to France with the retreating French troops. And, unlike the Americans who only gave its children immigrant status, France gave all their children French citizenship in their new country. Those little children weren’t simply left defenseless and alone on the chaotic streets of a war-torn country to take care of themselves as the American children were. Disgrace, indeed!
Hi Faroug,
I am not happy with American soldiers’ crimes in Iraq, Afghanistan and many other countries but these crimes are irrelevant here.
Additionally, these irresponsible guys are far more worse than their American counterparts because they came from a reserved country where a guy is not allowed have a friendship with a girl, not to mention intimate relationship.
These girls have a right and they have stood up for their selves and children. The victims of American soldiers should do the same.
Yep and that’s exactly why that website you referenced exists. No-one said American men are perfect on this blog. But this blog deals with this specific issue and that website deals with that specific issue.
Saudi students are not honest in their feelings. They just want to enjoy their time at the expense of other girls.
On the other hand, the root problem still exists, American girls should understand that the consequences of a relationship with a man are serious.
“American girls should understand that the consequences of a relationship with a man are serious.”
Millions of people have relationships without getting pregnant. But accidents happen, with Saudis and without Saudis. Getting pregnant is not a reason to not have relationships – it’s just a reason for women AND men to be more careful when they have relationships and use proper protection.
a saudi man or not saudi has no right in islamic laws to have any relations with women outside of marriage. not all american women are whores. they are right there in saudi and everywhere in the arab world. i suggest you look around and admit the exact facts. for a man had relations with a woman outside of wedlock he will never enter paradise on his day of judgement , this goes for the woman also.
I feel bad about what saudis have done to you moms. And I am telling you as a saudi it is so complicated when it comes to marrying a foreigner but i am not making this as an excuse of what the have done to you. i am absolutely sure if you communicated those saudis fathers or families back in KSA they will help you whether financially or emotionally. It is so easy to find them but yet you will have to prove that your children belong to these saudis. I can reach them easily if you want me to and i can also contact their families on the top of that i can let them understand the situation in their perspective . please do contact me on this e-mail( ahmed.ahmed3134@yahoo.com) .. best of luck
These type of stories are heart breaking. Some of the comments made a point. Ladies have to be very careful of themselves in involving in such relationship whether with saudi males or others. Females should be very keen as they are the one losing and who suffer most?? the kids.. Fathers who left their kids is so unacceptable and i know anytime soon they have to answer our Almighty God for doing this.
I think the point of this blog is being forgotten. The children should be the focus. Quit the bad mouthing and finger pointing. Ya we all know how babies are made. That’s not the point. Who did it and whose fault and all that mess is not the point. The point is that both parents should be responsible. Period.
There should be some kind of international court system where you can file a complaint and DNA tests administered. If you are the father your child is registered in your country and you pay child suport as well as an option for the child to take the nationality.
Before u start with the just looking for money bs it takes 2 to make a baby and both should share the responsibility and support. WE ARE TALKING ABOUT A BABY.
Before u start blaming and talking crap put yourself in the woman’s shoes. Imagine it was you. Really truly sit and think about it and if you still feel the same then you have no heart.
The problem is most western women are so easy with lack of moral. Why would any woman want to sleep with men that are not married?? Course it takes 2 to do wrong. I bet none of you women bother to ask the man if he is married or not. Once a cheater always a cheater, For this man he will never enter paradise because he made that one mistake in sleeping with a woman that is not his wife. Don;t get me wrong, there also alot of arab women that cheats and have immoral acts outside of wedlock. of course this man not want to be seen with you when he discovered you are pregnant. There are many flying tongues and most Saudi families will kill there own flesh blood son for bring dishonor in his family. Only way to clean his family name is by making him history.
Just be honest and accept that both of you and him are responsible for this problem. You should have known the outcomes from having sex, and it leading to pregnancy. But I don’t blame you because in america people are used to having bastards, and ending up supporting them and getting married afterwards because of having a child. But saudi’s unlike you have to sacrifice humiliation and abandonment from their whole family back home, because of them committing adultery, and it leading them into a death sentence because of it. You have to learn the little factors and options they have. It’s either: Never see their family again, and have no support what so ever in a foreign country, or abandonment. But his mistake was committing such an act of “Sin” in the first place, and what he should have done was at least secretly support you and the child with financial problems. He and you were foolish but more him because, he knew he couldn’t stay committed to such a problem.
I am a half Saudi / half American. So I know much about these subjects. And thank God my parents got married first
I am also glad your parents got married first that way you never will have to know what it feels like to have someone call you or your child a bastard.
In one line you say be honest you were both to blame but in the next you are quick to point out how it is not the mans fault because of his culture, but you are right women should know better than to fall for a helpless man who had no idea sex out of marriage could cause children. Not to worry though saudi men will be forgiven all the sins of abandoning the child they helped make and the women will be shames for having sex outside of marriage.
I dont give two squirts what these men have to go through when family finds out about the child that was abandoned abroad. THEY should of thought about that before entering into a sexual relationship. The women bare the cross of being a single mother and these men bear the cross of being found out. The only ones innocent here are the children and some like yourself call them bastards ……..You are a class act!!
Ryan you may be well versed in these subjects but your poor lack of respect is apparent. Labeling people you don’t know “bastards” just reinforces class ignorance in that just because one’s parents are married then they are automatically better. Yes you are correct it does take TWO to tango but what you fail to realize is that often many of these women are very young when they meet these Saudi guys who are much older. Many of them even lie about their age to the women saying they’re younger than they actually are. These men are relentless in chasing these girls and promise the sun moon and stars. Mistakes happen but these men know better. Nevertheless a life is a life and you are nobody to judge. That “bastard” someday might grow up to be someone of great help and or influence to humanity so your generalization holds no weight. Just because ones parents are married before one is born doesn’t necessarily mean the product of that marriage will come out with any ounce of intellect or reason.