To the Family of Sultan Abdullah Asiri,الي عائلة سلطان عبدالله عسيري ،، /

الي عائلة سلطان عبدالله عسيري ،، / To the Family of Sultan Abdullah Asiri
 السلام عليكم
    الي عايله سلطان عبدالله عسيري ،،
    هدا الابن عار علي هذه العايله. في عام ٢٠٠٩ شهر ٥ كان سلطان يدرس في الجامعه وخلال هده الفتره رزقه الله بمولود وهدا سهل جدا اثباته عن طريق الطب المتقدم والتحاليل. وعندما ولد ابنه يوسف قال انه سوف يتكفل بمصاريفه وسجلاته …الخ. ولكن للاسف لم يوفي بوعده. لان يوسف سوف يكمل ٣ اعوام بعد شهر. في الواقع يوسف بشوش الوجه وطفل جميل ومليئ بالسعاده. سلطان هو من اختار هدا الاسم لابنه ليحمل اسم العايله. وللمعلوميه ان النيه في داخلي ليست طمع في سلطان للزواج به لان هدا سوف يكون ضار علي ابنه يوسف. وانا سالت وطلبت السجلات الصحيه لابني يوسف. وحاولت ان احصل علي هده المعلومات من سلطان ولكن لم استطع. وانا علي استعداد ان اتواصل معاكم في هدا الشآن. الرجاء الاتصال بي
    شكرا
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 Joseph - يوسف
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 سلطان & يوسف - Sultan & Joseph
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سلطان -Sultan
Comment from Sultan to Joseph - تعليق من سلطان الي يوسف
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 I was and still suffer from studying and homework..
I wish you a wonderful and enjoyable life, my life is very difficult, and still very difficult, all the decisions that I have made were so difficult, non was simple. But, I love you and I love your mother, and I wish you all a wonderful life.” 
Written by Sultan Abdullah Asiri
(English Translation)
To the Family of Sultan Abdullah Asiri who reside in Riyadh Saudi Arabia.
This letter is to inform you of the actions of your son Sultan Abdullah Asiri has and still continues to shame your family name.  In may 2009 while Sultan was studying at the University Of Findlay, he fathered a son. This can easily be proven with DNA.When Joseph was born he said he would always help financially and he would make available his medical records. To date he has done neither of those things.  Joseph will be 3 years old in May, he is a bright wonderful child that is so full of happiness. My beloved husband has chose to raise Joseph as his child and Joseph has taken his last name. Please know my intent is not to marry your son or have him be a father in any way that would be detrimental to the child. I do ask for any medical records that are relevant to my sons health be available. All attempts to get this information from Sultan have been exhausted. I am willing to communicate with you on this matter, Please contact me at http://saudichildrenleftbehind.wordpress.com/
Thank you.
If anyone can help get this letter to Sultan Asiri or his family it would be greatly appreciated as he continues to ignore the mother of his son, pretending that they do not exist.


UPDATE. 11/07/2012

I have learned so much in the past year, the ups and downs have been enough to try anyone’s patience but through all the hardships I have found the most amazing people. They have been my saving grace during this difficult time. The family we have created and the bonds we share will last a lifetime.

Our numbers seem to keep growing and yet the Saudi Govt. is yet to take any action in disciplining their own people when they study abroad. The young and old men in our website still continue to live their life as if they were proper Muslim men marring virgin wives. The word whore is often used to describe the women effected. Family’s of these men ( Sultan Asiri’s family as well) when they are informed about their sons behaviour have a reaction that baffles us in the west. Pretending the problem does not exist seems to be the way some Saudis deal with a problem that is staring them in the face.

The majority of the women and adult children are Muslim and are raising their children alone. My dilemma there is with my own son is the fact that my sons father uses Islam as his excuse for his neglect and total abandonment of his son. How as a mother can I raise my son Muslim when his own father says that is why he hates his son? Why would I raise my son to ever believe that actions like that are acceptable because he is a male muslim? How can he pray to Allah and beg him to know his father while his father is praying that he never has to hear the name Joseph Martin or Jenniffer ever again. My son deserves better than that.

A Note To Sultan Abdullah Asiri.
Sultan,
I try to think back to a time when you and I were inseparable, up all night just talking about anything and everything that would pop in our heads. Hanging out with Fahad, Falah, and Tareq laughing so hard we thought we would die. You were in love with me and I you.
When I became pregnant you insisted I kill our child if I wanted to keep you you then showed me how important I truly was by sleeping with every girl you met and telling them you never knew me and you have no children. In the beginning people believed your lies and tall tales……then they get a look at your son and they all immediately know that you were a stone cold liar. Your defence was so unoriginal and comical….”o ya I know her she is crazy she says every saudi is the dad” REALLY??? First off look in a mirror and you will see what Saudi is the daddy. Second you KNOW you were the only man I was intimate with!! I was madly in love with you. I remember a time you lost your scholarship and were broke and homeless, I was struggling to put food on the table for my children and I took you into my home paid your bills washed your clothes and fed you. How is the favour repaid? You get your scholarship back after 8 months of living off me and my family and you go out and spend 3,000 dollars on a big screen tv for your new party pad while I have to get on welfare just to feed and clothe our son. I begged you for 10 dollars for diaper s and you flew into a rage saying you whore you only got pregnant so you can have my money, I tell you what let me send you a bill of money spent on Joseph thus far and see if the thousands of dollars I spent and the 0$ you gave seem logical at all.
When I created the website I hadn’t heard from you in months, when you found out about the website you broke into my house and hacked my computer with a key-logger and stole Joseph birth record. I had often wondered why you stole Josephs birth record? A few weeks ago I got my answer when you sent me the e mail with a picture of Josephs birth record saying I am a liar because your name was not on the birth record and my husbands name was put on file as his father. Sultan you know why I didn’t want your name on his birth record.
Now I can explain to the readers as to why.
I didn’t want Sultans name on the official birth record first and foremost he threatened if I did he would kidnap Joseph and I would never see him again (RED FLAG) With all the international child custody horror stories out there I refuse to ever give him access to my son when he is threatening to take him if I put his name on file or tell anyone that he is the father. Then there is the issue that Sultan did not want anything to do with his son, why on earth would I put his name down….Sultan does not deserve the honour of being listed as a father he is clearly not father or husband material. When I was presented with the fact that my husband could adopt Joseph and be put on his birth record I jumped on it. My husband who wants to be a father and loves every second he spends with his little arab prince deserved to adopt Joseph and be legally considered his FATHER. The safety and well-being of my son is to important to have a mad man listed as his dad. The day is coming where Sultan will be forced to do a DNA test and no amount of scheming lying and hiding will help. I look forward to the day I can post the results.

Just by some small miracle you are secretly wondering about how Joseph is doing in past couple of years……
Sultan he is still so short….he is going to have a little man complex….sound familiar?
His favourite colour is green and he loves to watch Yo-Gabba_Gabba & Pocoyo.
He loves spaghetti and pizza and can eat as much as a grown man. Sleeping with his blue blanket and pillow I made him for Christmas is a funny event every night. You would be so proud of how smart he is he can count all the way to a thousand and knows how to count by two’s threes excreta. Scary smart!! He loves to sing and dance to every day often on the black coffee table you left in my house. The sensitivity to clothes you had as a boy he shares, nothing scratchy on him or he will just strip all his clothes off ..even in public :)
Joseph is the poster child for cuteness. I do feel bad that you will never know what a light he is in this dark world. You will never know what it feels like to feel the world crashing down on you and have those small hands wrap around you in a hug and seeing the eyes of an angel looking back at you while he smothers you in kisses making all the troubles melt away. You have no idea what you have lost, the feeling of happiness you always wanted are not wasted on Matt, who is teaching Joey to be a little man. We get to see the child you refuse to and you have nothing to show of your life. I hope you will contact me about Joseph. Open your heart to the one person in your entire life who will want to know about you. He is your son…..please don’t have hate in your soul for an innocent child who did nothing wrong but have us as his parents.

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My Apologies

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I would like to take the time to apologize to the readers for my absence and late reply to comments as of late. I have been dealing with some very serious health issues and I am working on getting healthy. Please feel free to e mail me at saudi_children_left_behind@hotmail.com and I will do everything possible to reply to you in a timely manner. Thank You for your patience and understanding during my absence.

                                                                              

Categories: Main Page | 17 Comments

Lisi’s Story.

ليزي، أم للشاب جبريل بن بريك القرني. جبريل يبلغ عمره 26 عام وأمضى 25 سنة من عمرة بدون أي اتصال او تواصل مع والدة بريك بن عايض بن حنش القرني، أبحث عن التواصل مع القراء للوصول له وإبلاغه بأن ابنة البالغ لدية أسأله يبحث عن أجوبتها لدى والدة.
قصة ليزي:
بريك بن عايض بن حنش القرني، حضر الى جامعة تامبل في ولاية بنسلفينيا فيلادلفيا كطالب في تخصص العدالة القانونية من عام 1981 الى 1986 وتخرج بدرجة البكالوريوس في شهر مايو عام 1986.
كنت ابلغ من العمر 16 سنة عندما التقيت في بريك بن عايض القرني لأول مرة وكان ذلك في صيف العام 1981 وكان ذلك بأشهر قليله قبل بلوغي سن 17. صديقتي واليسكا التي تسكن نفس الحي الذي يسكنه بريك عرفتني اليه. كان يحب ان يناديه الجميع باسم بايريك لتسهيل نطق الاسم. وكانت رخصة قيادته تحمل الاسم بايريك عايض الكرني وفي ذلك الوقت كانت الولايات المتحدة تسمح للطلبة الاجانب بتغيير اسمائهم لتسهيل نطق الاسم وهو غير مسموح الآن لأسباب أمنية.
بدأت بمواعدته، وقضينا الكثير من الوقت مع العائلة والاصدقاء خصوصا في الاجازات، بعد سنة من تخرجي من الثانوية درست المرحلة الجامعية وعندها سألني أن أنتقل للسكن معه وفي ربيع وصيف الأعوام من 1981 الى 1984 كان يذهب لزيارة عائلته في السعودية، لست متأكدة إن كان بالفعل قام بذلك لأنه لم يكن يسمح لي بالذهاب معه الى المطار لتوديعه ولم يكن يتواصل معي ابدا خلال تواجده في السعودية. وايضاً لم يجلب لي هدية سوى مرة واحدة لي ولعائلتي، لقد كان غامضاً ولربما تزوج في السعودية في أحد هذه الرحلات. كنت ساذجة جدا وكان قد غرس الخوف في نفسي من الإساءة جسديا لي. كان غيورا جدا ولم يكن يريد مني التواصل مع أصدقائه، ومع ذلك فإننا في بعض الأحيان نقوم بزيارة اثنين من الأصدقاء المقربين له والذين كانوا أيضا من المملكة العربية السعودية أو كانوا يأتون لشقتنا لتناول العشاء، قررت عدة مرات تركة وأعود الى منزل عائلتي ولكنة كان ينظر لي بأسف وكان يعتذر لي ويقول انه لا يزال يحبني.
غضب بريك كثيرا عندما علم بأنني حامل وطلب مني أن اجهض حملي، لم أكن مقتنعة بالإجهاض وذلك لمعتقدي الديني كمسيحية ولكنني في ذلك الوقت لم أكن متدينة كثيرا ولكن كنت اعلم بما ذكر في الكتاب المقدس بأن الارتباط خارج أطار الزواج هو خطيئة …. ولدت أبني جبريل بن بريك القرني في 13 مايو 1985. بعد عدة أشهر من ولادة ابني اقتنع بريك ولكنة لم يكن كذلك في الواقع …. لقد درب ابننا على المشي قبل أن يكمل عامة الأول. انتهت صلاحية التأشيرة التي منحته اياها الحكومة الامريكية كطالب في شهر مايو من عام 1986 وقبل عودته الى المملكة العربية السعودية بيوم واحد أسمى ابننا عبدالله ووعدني بمساعدتي ماليا في تربية ابني ومساعدتي في دفع نفقاته التعليمية، وايضاً طلب مني التواصل معه في حال اراد ابننا اي احتياجات من اي نوع كانت كالأطعمة او احتياجات خاصة هذه الوعود كانت حزمة من الأكاذيب!!!
وقام بتزويدي برقم هاتف منزلة بالمملكة العربية السعودية وعلمني كيف يمكنني الاتصال به في المملكة العربية السعودية وطلبة باللغة العربية، بعد عدة أيام قررت الاتصال به، بعد الاتصال رد علي رجل وتظاهر بعدم فهم ما اقول وبعدها طلبيت منة ان يوصل الهاتف الى بريك للتحدث معه بخصوص ابننا جبريل ولكنة صرخ بي قائلا وباللغة الانجليزية باني بريك مات مات مات وأغلق الهاتف. ليس لدي أدنى شك بأن الرجل الذي تحدث معي كان هو بريك ولكنة كان يحدثني بصفته شخص آخر.
دمرت حياتي تماما. كنت أواجه مشاكل مالية اعتمدت على المساعدات الحكومية (الرعاية) للأغذية والمساعدات النقدية لذلك لم تكن كافيا لدفع فواتير المرافق العامة وإيجار الشقة وعندها قام مالك الشقة بتغيير اقفالها لعدم تمكني من الدفع وبعدها اصبحت مشردة انا وابني ولكن شكرا لله لقد كان لدي صديقة جيدة (امرأة عجوز) أخذتنا لديها الى ان وجدة شقة ارخص.
خسرت كل شيء، سرير ابني وطعامه و حليبه والعمامة التي كان قد اهداها إياه والدة وخسرت كل الصور التي التقطتها انا وبريك طوال السنين التي عشناها معاً والصور التي التقطناها معا لابننا وصور الإجازة التي قضيناها معا في واشنطن واورلاندو وديزني لاند وخسرت ايضا رقم هاتف التواصل مع بريك. لقد مررت بالكثير من المعاناة والألم لسنوات عديدة بمواجهة حقيقة ان بريك تخلى عن وعودة لابنة لقد كانت آلام ما مررت به عميقة لما فعلة بي وبابني.
لقد كنت مؤمنة دائما بأن ما قام به كان مخططا منذ البداية بأن لا يكون له اي تواصل معي او مع ابنة، وانا لا اتمنى لأي امرأة أن تخوض نفس التجربة والالم الذي مررت به. ولذلك أود أن انبه وبشدة النساء بأن لا يتواصلوا او يقعوا في مواعدة مع اي رجل سعودي لأنهم يفكرون فقط بتعليمهم والعودة للعمل في المملكة العربية السعودية، انصح بذلك إلا إن كان هذا الرجل فعلا يود الارتباط بها في علاقة زواج رسمية وأن يقدمك الى عائلته كزوجة! وإن فعلتي ووقعتي في علاقة مع احدهم فاستعملي الوقاية لتجنب الحمل منه او الانجاب، انه ظلم للطفل أن يعيش دون والد، واعلمي دائما بأن “الوقوع في حب شخص ليس مؤلم ولكن المؤلم فعلا هو التعلق بالشخص الخاطئ” ، الرجل الحقيقي هو من يحميكي دائما وليس من يعاملك بسرية او بالخفاء وسوف يخبر العالم أجمع بأنك متواجدة في حياته بغض النظر عن وجهة نظر عائلته!!! إن ذلك لا ينطبق على الرجال السعوديون فقط بل كل الرجال فالسيء موجود في كل دولة والجيد ايضا في كل دولة، عندما يخبرك شخص بأنه يحبك تأكدي من أن هناك دليل على هذا الحب.
انتي مهمة، ما حدث لي حدث لعدم وجود توجيه من والدتي بالحذر من العلاقات بالرجال حيث كان ذلك من الاحاديث المحرم الحديث بها اجتماعيا ولكنني لا القي اللوم على والدتي في ذلك فهي عاشت في بيئة تحرم ذلك. لقد أتيت من بيئة فقيرة ووالداي من بوتوريكو وهي جزء من الولايات المتحدة، ولذلك كانت ثقافتنا مختلفة عن الثقافة الامريكية منذ سنين عدة ولكن الآن تغيرت تلك العادات واصبحت العائلات اللاتينية انفتاحيه اكثر وتساعد ابنائها في صنع القرارات الصحيحة.
مع الأسف، كنت قاصراً آن ذاك واصبحت ضحية لتلك الأكاذيب، لم يخبر بريك عائلته ابدا عني او عن علاقتنا وعندما انجبت ابني اخبرني بأنه لا يستطيع اخبار اهلة بذلك لانهم سيقتلونه ان علموا بذلك بحكم الشريعة الاسلامية ولكنة اخبرني ايضاً بأنه سيدعم هذا الابن طالما أن اهلة لا يعلمون عنه. لم أحاول أبدا التواصل مع السفارة السعودية بهذا الخصوص لخوفي من ذلك و ايضا لوجود مشاكل مالية. الآن عمر ابني 26 عاما ومنذ ان كان مراهقا كان متعجب دائما مما فعلة والدة ومنذ ذلك الحين وابني يعيش مجروحا عاطفيا ومعنويا وغاضبا دائما بأن والدة لم يحاول حتى التواصل معة او البحث عنة ولكنة الآن يرغب في البحث عن والدة والتواصل معه.

English Translation

Meet Lisi, she is mother to Gabriel Break Al-Qarni.  Gabriel is 26 years old and has spent the last 25 years of his life without any communication from his father Break Ben Ayed Bin Hanash Al-Qarni.  I ask the readers help in getting the post spread to Break Ben Ayed Bin Hanash Al-Qarni and let him know his adult son has some questions to ask of his father.

Lisi’s Story.

Break Ben Ayed Bin Hanash Al-Qarni attended Temple University School of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania on a student visa from 1981 through 1986 and graduated in May 1986 with Bachelor’s degree in Criminal Justice Legal studies.
I was 16 years old when I met Break Ayed Al-Qarni Hanash in the summer of 1981 a couple of months before my 17th birthday.  My friend Waleska who lived in the same neighborhood introduced me to Berik. He wanted everyone to call him Berik for it was  much easier to pronounce his name and on his driver’s license the name shown was Berik Ayed Al-Kerni for at that time the U.S recommended for any student’s that came from another country to change their name that was difficult to pronounce in a american version but no longer U.S. required to change the names due to Homeland Security purposes…
 Well, I started dating Berik and we spent a lot of time together with friends and family, especially on the holidays.  A year after I graduated from High School, I attended college and he asked me to move in with him. During spring break and summer of 1981 through 1984 he went to visit his family in Saudi Arabia, not sure if he actually made these trips to Saudi Arabia for he never asked me to accompany him to the airport and he never called me during his stay in Saudi Arabia. Also, he only brought gifts one time for me and my family.  He was very secretive. Perhaps,during one of these trips he married.
  I was very naive and he instilled fear in me by physically abusing me. He was a very jealous man, he never wanted for me to have any connection with his friends. However, occasionally we would visit his two close friends who were also from Saudi Arabia or they came to our apartment for dinner.  A couple of times I decided to leave him and I returned home to my family but he always looked for me and say that he was sorry for the way he treated me and that he still loved me.
 Break was very upset when he found out that I was pregnant and he wanted me to get an abortion. I did not believe in abortion because of my Christian beliefs but at that time I did not live a christian life for the Bible says it is a sin to have a relationship with a man without being married…..I had my son Gabriel Break Al-Qarni on May 13, 1985. |After a couple of months later after my son’s birth, Break finally accepted his son but in reality he did not…… He also trained our son to walk before Gabriel 1st birthday.  His student visa expired in May of 1986 and a day before his return to Saudi Arabia, he named our son Abdullah and then he promised to provide financial support and to pay for my son’s college education. Also, he stated for me to call him whenever my son needed food and diapers and etc….which it was a bunch of lies!!!!
Then he provided his Saudi Arabia home contact number and showed me how to ask for him in the Arabic language.  After a couple of days I decided to call him and a man answered the phone, he was acting like he did not understand what I was saying, then  I repeatedly asked to speak with Berik in regards to our son, Gabriel Break Al-Qarni and then he yelled at me in english and said, “He is dead! He is dead! He is dead! and closed the phone. I have no doubts that it was him and acted like someone else.  My life was totally ruined. I was having financial problems and I depended on the government (welfare)  for food and cash assistance for it was not enough to pay for apartment and utility bills. Then the landlord decided to changed the locks for I couldn’t pay rent, then me and my son were homeless, but thank God, a good friend (older woman) took us in until I found a cheaper apartment. I lost everything, my son’s crib, diapers, milk, food,our clothes, the turban that Berik gave to Gabriel including all of our pictures that Berik and me took over the years and my son’s baby pictures, vacation photos of Washington, DC and Orlando Disney photos and Berik contact phone number.   I experienced a lot of pain and suffering for many years due to the fact that Berik did not live up to his promises to his son.  It was so cruel and heartless for what he did to me and my son.
I always believed that he was alive and that he planned it from the very start to never have any contact with me or his son. I don’t wish for any women to go through this type of experience. Therefore, I strongly warn women not to date or live with these Saudi Arabia men for in their mind is to study and have a career in Saudi Arabia, unless he really want’s to marry you and he introduced you to his family! Or if it’s not serious do not have any intimate relationship and if you do….. Use Protection! It’s not fair to the child to be fatherless.  Just keep in mind ” Loving a person doesn’t hurt but loving the wrong person does”   A real man will protect you and no matter what he will not keep you in secret. He will tell the whole world that he has you in his life no matter what and it includes his family!!!!It’s not just Saudi men but all men, their is good and bad from any country they come from.  If a man says he loves you and make sure there is proof.
Learn to have high standards of yourself.  You are important! What happened to me was that I was not instructed by my mother to be careful of men for it was a “taboo”  to speak of such things with their children but I don’t blame my mother for it was the way she was raised. I came from a poor background and my parents are from Puerto Rico which is part of the United States, however our culture was different from the Americans many years ago.  But now, the latin families are becoming more openly with their children and teaching them to make the right choices.
Unfortunately, I was a minor at that time and I became a victim of his lies. Berik never told his family about me.  After I had my son he stated he cannot tell his family for they will kill him because of the Sharia’ Law but he said he will support his son as long they don’t about Gabriel.  I never attempted to go to the Saudi Arabia Embassy after Break left out of fear and for financial reasons. Now my son is 26 years old, since his teenage years he wondered about his father. Through out the years my son was and still is  emotionally hurt and angry that his father never attempted to search for him but now he wants to see his father.

Contact Gabriel on Facebook.

Break Ben Ayed Bin Hanash Al-Qarni

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Searching for Answers

Saudi men on student visa are continually allowed to abandon the children they father. I, like many, have wondered why this is possible.
I want to share my views and some of the responses that I receive in my quest for answers.

To whom does a woman go to when she had parented a child with a Saudi student and the father neglects all responsibility?
The first thing many do is call the embassy in Washington DC for answers only to find them acting in a perfunctory manner. Saudi Citizens Affairs has not yet returned any of the e-mails sent. The group “Saudis in USA” have offered a mix of insulting words and empty promises from its founding members when contacted. Personal experience has taught me that, when told about this issue, Saudi men and Saudi women react quite differently. The men, in the form of e-mails, tell you how badly they feel, and that they will help in this matter never to be heard from again. Saudi women tell you publicly, that since we weren’t married to the Saudi men we deserve whatever we get, and claim no one will help us.

Why are the children punished in the denial of a proper family medical history and financial support ? What is it going to take to get someone to take notice? Is there a number we must hit before action is taken?
These men think that they can return to Saudi Arabia with no one knowing about he child they have fathered, and with the Saudi Embassy protecting them, they get to do exactly that.

Who out there is listening? Who is helping get the word out while offering good advice?
To my pleasant surprise the most helpful of everyone I have ever contacted happen to be non Saudi Muslim women. Some of these women’s blogs include: Andrea with(Abandoned Children By Their Saudi Father) , Carol with (American Bedu) Tara with (FHWS) Laylah with(Blue Abaya) These women have been respectful and helpful every time I have had communication with them.

I ask you the readers: Do you know of anyone courageous enough to help? Please help me get in contact with someone who will listen. The amount of e-mails/calls already made to clearly the wrong people are becoming redundant in nature.

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Can someone translate this for me please?

Can someone translate this?


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Interview with Anne 36 year old strong Mother.

Interview with Anne.
Here is a woman who has 14years experience under her belt. Kudos to you for making sure your son has support in dealing with his anger.

    Would you please state your age, race, and religion?

I am a 36 years old. I am white. I don’t really affiliate with any particular religion. I was raised Catholic but over the years have studied many different religions. I feel the most emotional attachment to Islam but over the years have kind of let it go.

    Where/ how did you meet your Saudi? How long did the relationship last?

I met my Saudi, whom I will call B, in a nightclub in Denver, CO. He was 24 and I was 22. We hit it off right away. Within a few weeks we were living together and within a couple of months we moved out of town together to attend the university in a different city. He fully supported me the whole time we were together. I never worked and he helped with my tuition. How long the relationship lasted is a harder question. We were together for four years before I became pregnant and geographically together for two years after our son was born. At that point he returned to Saudi Arabia. The plan was for him to find a job in Dammam, close to his family, and for us to live in Bahrain. (Which in retrospect I don’t even know if that’s possible)He didn’t feel that I would be happy in Saudi and would have a better chance of acclimating in Bahrain. That was 8 years ago and I have pretty recently come to accept the fact that won’t be happening. However, we still have a relationship in the very broadest terms. He calls two or three times a month and we exchange emails and text messages frequently.

    What was your Saudi’s reaction to your pregnancy?

Quite honestly neither of our reactions were great. It was something that neither of us were prepared for. For quite a while he seemed lost and very confused about what we should do. We did a lot of talking and planning but in the end he told me the decision about whether to have a baby or not was ultimately mine but I had to realize there would probably be a time when he wouldn’t be with us. Shortly after he insisted that we get married so that our son would be recognized as his legitimate child.

    Were your family members accepting of the relationship? How do they currently view the situation?

My family loved him as they would love a son, and he them. My sisters and grandparents were especially close to him. My youngest sister was 14 when we met so he was most definitely an older brother figure in her life; I think she is probably the most disappointed in him. Also his younger brother came to live with us for the summer when he was 14 so our families were fairly enmeshed. Now my family feels hurt and abandoned. I think we all trusted he would do the right thing.

    Describe your current situation (your life, your child’s life, and current situation

Our life now is pretty good. Honestly I put my life on hold for about 7 years waiting for our little family to be reunited. It has only been within the last year that I finally decided to stop waiting and start living. I have started making plans and setting goals for the future that do not involve him. This has been really hard for me to face. Our son( whom I will call J) is a bit of a different story. J was two when B left and they were thick as thieves. At first our son was very angry. He refused to speak to B on the phone for at least a year. J is so hurt and confused that it breaks my heart. I sought counseling for him last year because I know that he is angry and sad but he refuses to work through it. He absolutely will not talk about his Dad at all to anyone. The counselor tried to get him to talk about his dad and the feelings he has but he refused. He told the counselor, “I don’t talk about my Dad to anyone. Ever. “We went to counseling once a week for three or four months and J never said a word about him. Finally the counselor said that until J is willing to talk about it there is nothing that can be done, and for me to call back if that starts to happen. Once in a while he makes comments in passing about how he wishes his Dad could be here so that he would be able to see what kind of boy he is turning out to be. This kills me because J is so smart and funny and kind. I worry so much about how his life will be affected. I’m very afraid that the emotional scars will be great. We are both very fortunate that we have an amazing support system and a very loving and close family.

    Will the Father be involved in any way in raising your child?

His father calls once every couple of weeks and talks to J for a few minutes. They have a hard time communicating because J has a hard time with his Dad’s accent, which is funny to me because when he was two he was pretty much bilingual. He doesn’t even remember that now. They exchange emails and he sends money for J’s birthday and Christmas. Other than that it does not appear he will be involved in any other capacity.
How are you dealing with the lack of support? (Financial/emotional)
The lack of financial support irritates me. I know that his family has money, whether he actually does or not. There was one time that I needed a fairly large sum of money to help with some medical needs for our son. The first thing out of his mouth was, “If you feel like you are not able to take care of our child then you should send him to me so I can.” I was flabbergasted and extremely irate that this person who had basically disappeared from our lives would have the audacity to even suggest such a thing. He sent the money but other than that the only other time we receive anything from him is on J’s birthday and Christmas. Emotionally is a harder thing. I fear we were both, in some ways, fundamentally broken by this man. To this day I love him. I am angry and hurt that he didn’t keep his word on so many things. I am furious that he seems so willing to be so far removed from our wonderful, beautiful child regardless of the consequences to him. But, I refuse to allow our son to see any of this. I have never spoken a word against his Dad nor will I allow anybody in my family to. I feel the day will come when J will have the opportunity to confront his Dad and form his own opinions.

    What are your hopes for the future?

My biggest hope for the future is that a very strong Mom and a loving family will be enough to make up for J not having his Dad present in his life. I hope that one day they will be able to know each other. I hope that our son will someday get the answers to the questions about his Dad that he is too afraid to ask.

    What advice would you give to another woman in your current situation?

Be strong and make decisions that are best for you and your child.

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My Latest E-Mail to the Saudi Embassy UPDATED!!!

Well surprise surprise Dr. Mody Alkhalaf or anyone from citizens affairs has not replied to my e-mails or calls. It seems like once they recognize the e mail or person calling they ignore you!! My son is almost 3 years old and the man who fathered him seems to keep flying under your ever so vigilant radar. This specific student has exceeded his scholarship multiple times due to poor grades often times he has been in so much academic trouble you suspended his allowance.Why are you protecting this man? Who can answer my questions?????

    It has been over a week since anyone in the embassy has returned any of my numerous e mails or calls. Below is the last correspondence between us.

Dear Jennifer

I did transfer your request to the embassy and you may follow up with citizen’s affairs.

I would like to note that when we talked, however, you were very keen on the father not having any paternity rights, in fact you mentioned that your husband has “adopted” your child as his son and you do not want to change that.
Also, you never mentioned anything regarding child support. In fact, you said I just want to make sure who to contact when my son grows up and wants to meet his father.

Having said all that, and if you have changed your mind regarding what you are requesting from the father, then I will gladly note it to embassy as well.

Sincerely,

Dr. Mody Alkhalaf
Director of Cultural and Social Affairs
Cultural Mission of the Royal Embassy of Saudi Arabia
8500 Hilltop Road
Fairfax, VA 22031
Phone: 571-327-2555
Fax: 571-327-2761

    Where I quickly replied.

Dr. Mody Alkhalaf
Thank you for your response. I certainly appreciate it, and will do my best to clarify. My concerns were mostly of a financial nature, as Sultan has repeatedly tried to avoid doing anything to help in that area. My husband has indeed adopted our son, and we have no other needs of Sultan, other than to ensure family medical histories are available to us. I didn’t bring it up before because I was under the impression that Sultan would be gone in another month’s time. This is five months later and he is still here ( having broken into my home at one point in time, might I add ). Nothing else has changed, although I would like some clarification on citizen’s affairs. All I could obtain there was a list of phone numbers. What is the next step, and is there anyone specifically that I should speak to? I appreciate the time and effort. Thank you.
Jenniffer

My latest e-mail to the Saudi Embassy in Washington, DC.
In the past I have been in contact with Dr. Mody Alkhalaf Director of Cultural and Social Affairs.To date nothing had been done to resolve this situation.

To whom it may concern,

My name is Jenniffer I called you six months ago regarding the situation involving myself, my son, and his biological father, Sultan Abdullah Asiri, who is currently a computer science major at the University of Findlay. At the time of my call, you told me someone would help me to a resolution within 1 month, and that it was simply too expensive to send him home just short of his degree. It has been an additional 5 months, and not only is he still here, living a mere 5 minutes away from me, but he has offered absolutely no financial support whatsoever. I have started a group, called Saudi Children Left Behind, as a type of support system for women in my position, and have found that there are numerous women in the exact same predicament as myself. We are attracting new members every day, and have even been contacted by media outlets for interviews. My concerns remain the same as when I first contacted you. What will I tell my son, who will be three in May, about his biological father? Why are so many men on international scholarship allowed to skirt their responsibilities when they father a child? My son’s DNA would without a doubt answer any doubts anyone would have about his heritage, but I would still like to hear from you before speaking to the media. I await your response.

Sincerely,
Jenniffer

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How do you feel?

Ok, everyone. I have a question or two for those who would care to respond, as i am looking for a little input on the subject. What part of being left alone to raise your child ( assuming that you were not given other options ) makes you the most upset? The financial aspects? The worrying about your child’s future without a father? Or the biological implications, i.e. allergies, known familial diseases, etc.? Have people told you that you would be better off not searching for or seeking out assistance from the father at all? Does that make you angry? I ask because, of all the thoughts that cross my mind, in my situation what bothers me most is the fact that my son will simply never be acknowledged by his biological father, and I am sure sooner or later he will have questions that I’m not sure I can answer.

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Chasing Jannah: My Baby Boy


This blog comes from a Canadian/Muslim woman who also has a child with a Saudi man who chooses not to have contact with her or her son.
I would like to thank you for for speaking out and sharing your story.

http://chasing-jannah.blogspot.com/2012/03/my-baby-boy.html

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Awasser, Back to the Roots Foundation

What is Awasser Back to the Roots Foundation? Can they help me?

Were you married and have children with a Saudi man and live in a poor country? Do you want to become a citizen of Saudi Arabia with your children?

Here are a few articles from the Arab news about the foundation and who they help.


Awasser extends all support to Saudi families abroad
RIYADH: Chairman of the Saudi Charitable Society for the Welfare of Saudi Families Abroad Tawfiq Abdul Aziz Al-Suwailem highlights the role of his organization in helping children born of Saudi fathers in foreign countries. “We provide for all their needs, such as a monthly assistance, winter clothing allowance, school assistance, housing and airplane tickets for those who want to return home,” he says in an exclusive interview with Abdul Hannan Tago in Riyadh.

Tawfiq Abdul Aziz Al-Suwailem, chairman of the Saudi Charitable Society for the Welfare of Saudi Families Abroad (Awasser), has said that his organization provides all procedural and legal assistance free of charge to the abandoned Saudi families living abroad.

In an exclusive interview with Arab News, Al-Suwailem, who is also economic consultant of Gulf Bureau for Research and Economic Consultation, said the assistance is available to Saudi families whose children are from a Saudi father who married a foreign woman but could not look after them for various reasons.

According to Al-Suwailem, Awasser provides this assistance through the Saudi Foreign Affairs Ministry under the supervision of Crown Prince Naif, deputy premier and interior minister, in line with Custodian of the Two Holy Mosques King Abdullah’s directive to extend support to his people wherever they may be and help them come back to the country.

The organization also grants financial support, winter allowance and school assistance to these children living abroad and includes them in King Abdullah’s scholarship program.

Awasser, the first and only Saudi charitable organization authorized for these services, has now compiled full data of those children in 26 countries, including the United States, Canada, the Philippines, India, Indonesia and large numbers of them in Syria, Egypt, Jordan and Lebanon.

According to Awasser, these numbers are increasing rapidly because of the modern technology, the use of social network communication and the quick processing of their papers.

The program managed to reach out to 900 families by the end of 2011, consisting of 2,387 persons living in 26 countries around the world. So far, Awasser has spent SR11 million on them.

Following is the text of the interview:

Your organization is the first of its kind in Saudi Arabia, specializing in the welfare of abandoned Saudi families. Can you tell us more about it?

The Charitable Organization for the Welfare of Saudi Families Abroad or Awasser is licensed and supervised by the Ministry of Interior. Awasser works solely and specifically for Saudi families living abroad and traces Saudi citizens all over the world. They are now under our care, and we are trying our best to provide assistance to the children of our country that, due to certain circumstances, were forced to stay outside the Kingdom. They need our assistance, welfare and supervision.

We provide for all their needs, such as a monthly assistance, winter clothing allowance, school assistance, housing, and airplane tickets for those who want to return home. We also provide them legal assistance to issue their Saudi identity cards and renew their passports.

Awasser also helps to include them in King Abdullah’s scholarship programs, and sometimes we recommend them to work for Saudi companies and our embassies in these countries.

When did you establish Awasser?

It was established in 2001 under a royal decree. The board of directors, which is elected every three years, consists of businessmen and retired personalities who are working voluntarily without official payment. They are merely rendering services to our country, because our country has provided us everything from our childhood. So this is considered as social responsibility. Allah always blesses those who work for humanitarian services.

Our objective is to find out the broken or abandoned families abroad and provide them a hand of assistance and all kinds of welfare.

Awasser aims to provide all necessary requirements for their return to the country and coordinates with the government, private institutions and NGOs working for charity to provide all their needs. We also carry out the relevant research and studies, especially on getting married outside and the negative effects of these imbalanced relations. We help them in all legalization procedures, including issuance of their Saudi identity cards and follow up with them.

How do you recognize these children? What are the procedures you follow to find them?

We find them through a number of procedures via our embassies. We do teamwork with our embassies and visit these families in their respective places. We ask about their parents, their papers and their financial status. We go to these embassies and tell them that we have this person who needs assistance from us.

We also trace them through our website, which is visited by hundreds of them. We exchange information with them and answer all their inquiries online, we provide them all necessary information they need and finish their papers on the same day. We also have awareness campaigns to introduce our activities to the people. We make sure that our assistance reaches all deserving family equally, without discrimination. We provide assistance without bias and based on their needs, whether they are a family or individual.

How many families have so far benefited from Awasser services and in which countries?

At present, we have 29 countries in which 3,100 people have benefited from our services. Our priorities are Gulf countries, Arab states, the US and Canada, Asian countries and Africa. Awasser spent SR11 million in 2011 and around SR4 million since the beginning of this year. We are targeting to spend a total of SR10 million for assistance this year as per the directives of King Abdullah and instructions of the crown prince. King Abdullah sometimes gives an extra amount for the same purposes.

The largest numbers of beneficiaries are now in Syria, where 280 families live, followed by Egypt, where we have 218 families consisting of 496 members, Kuwait (123/455), Bahrain (104/455), Jordan (70/234) and Lebanon (19/56).

Among the non-Arab countries, the Philippines has the highest number of Saudi families (16 families comprising 26 members). Second is the US (9/27), and third India.

How about the families in non-Arab countries that became completely attached to their mother culture? What do you do with those in the Philippines, for instance?

We conducted many visits to the Philippines and our embassy in Manila for this. We keep in touch with them. In a personal capacity, my brother goes there frequently and does a lot of humanitarian services.

What would happen to these children if their brothers in Saudi Arabia denied them their rights?

There are some Saudis who marry outside Saudi Arabia without the knowledge of their family. Then, when their children from abroad emerge, their brothers in Saudi Arabia refuse to accept them. That’s where the dispute begins.

It is a mistake to keep this secret, because in case of death these children abroad may not take their share if their Saudi brothers do not recognize them. This is, of course, not allowed in our Shariah, as all biological children should get their share equally from the left properties. They may also not get citizenship. Awasser acts as middlemen in these cases and goes to the concerned authority to help resolving these problems.

How about the children living in the Kingdom with their parents who could not get citizenship?

We are only working for families living outside Saudi Arabia.

Our jurisdiction and the scope of our services is outside the country. The people we assist don’t need attorneys; they come to us or contact us through our website and follow the given guidelines. We provide legal assistance to get their identification cards, we support them financially and make them from consumers to productive citizens.

How about those who are not bearing Saudi passports? Are they included in your services?

We serve them and do what is needed for them. We have contacts at the Foreign Affairs and Interior ministries, who can help them to legalize their status. People don’t do this procedure themselves; we do it for them. We are the official entity that does all requirements without any charge.

How can anybody approach Awasser for help?

They can contact us directly on our website: http://www.awasser.org.sa. We communicate with 92 Saudi embassies across the world to find out about any abandoned Saudi families in these countries. We did awareness campaigns on the negative effects of getting married outside the Kingdom.

The research we conducted revealed some financial and social problems including big financial needs the wives sometimes require, like accommodation, car, travel expenses, tickets and gifts for them and their relatives.

With regard to the social negative effects, many communities who allow their daughters to marry foreigners are from poor communities and uneducated. This creates differences in education and culture. The children who are living outside have different values, traditions and cultural background. Daughters are more affected by this phenomenon, as they do not know what their culture is and where they belong. Their children do not know whose culture they should follow — the father’s or the mother’s.

Sociologists and rights activists have warned young Saudi men of the negative social and economic consequences of their marriages to foreign women. They also warned that the practice increases the number of unmarried women in the Kingdom.

To avoid problems, those who seek foreign wives are advised to first obtain official permission. Some Saudis travel to foreign countries with the intention of entering into temporary marriages. At the end of their vacation, they divorce their wives.

This practice shows their disrespect for family values. They do this for temporary personal enjoyment, but they don’t think about its negative consequences. It will definitely affect their family life.
By ABDUL HANNAN TAGO


Search widens for kids abandoned by Saudi fathers overseas
By Joe Avancena
DAMMAM – The search for children born to foreign women and Saudi fathers overseas will be extended to all corners of the world to let these children know that although they have been abandoned by their Saudi fathers, Saudi Arabia is their country and they have not been forgotten, said Najeed A. R. Al-Zamil, founder of the Back to the Roots Foundation, a non-government organization that seeks out and supports such children.

“The Back to the Roots program of the foundation will soon launch a global search for these children to identify them, investigate their status and condition, and find ways to help and care for them if need be,” Al-Zamil said.

Al-Zamil established the Back to the Roots Foundation five years ago with a search for the children of Saudi fathers in the Philippines. In that country the foundation uncovered 60 sons and daughters of Saudi fathers who possess documents to prove their Saudi parentage.

“We know that there are at least 100 more of these children in the Philippines fathered by Saudis but without documentation to establish that they are the sons and daughters of Saudis. Nevertheless, the foundation will reach out to them,” he said.

According to Al-Zamil, the sons and daughters of Saudis in the Philippines have organized themselves, seeking, among other goals, the recognition and legitimization of their status as Saudis. The Back to the Roots program in the Philippines is headed by Shareefa Albinali who now works as administrative assistant at the Saudi Royal Embassy in Manila.

Al-Zamil said the global search for Saudi children is now supported by Prince Naif Bin Abdul Aziz, Second Deputy Premier and Minister of Interior. “Prince Naif has given his full support to the foundation and we will soon meet and finalize the global search program,” Al-Zamil said.

According to Al-Zamil, news about the pioneering work of the foundation is spreading around the world.

“I have received letters and inquiries about our foundation from interested individuals from places such as Moscow, Siberia and Iceland. Many of our male population have indeed successfully spread their parenthood in far-flung continents of the world,” Al-Zamil pointed out.

According to Al-Zamil, the largest concentration of children of Saudi fathers born to foreign women overseas is in Egypt where there are over 400,000 of them. “In Syria there are over 100,000 children who are the sons and daughters of Saudis.

There are also such children in countries like Morocco, Tunisia, India, Pakistan, Indonesia, Thailand, and in Western countries including the United States,” Al-Zamil said. – SG __


We met Mr. Abdullah Al Homod the CEO of a Saudi organization called Awasser to learn more about what the organization does and how they operate on a global scale.
To understand Awasser’s work, let’s assume that a Saudi citizen traveled abroad for business, pleasure, or even study, and that he found himself in a situation where he had to get married. Now let’s imagine that this person left that country to return to Saudi Arabia, leaving behind a spouse, who might be pregnant without knowing it at the time of the separation. This is where Awasser comes in and tries to find those Saudi abandoned children who are stranded away from their fathers and country. Since they are Saudis, Awasser takes on the task to educate them, help them, and provide means to return them home and reconnect Saudi citizens abroad to their family ties in Saudi Arabia. This simply makes Awasser a very unique organization.
Financial Support:
Once Awasser finds and confirms the existence of a Saudi child abroad, they investigate the case, to make sure that the child is the son or daughter of a Saudi citizen. After that, Awasser contacts the father in Saudi Arabia, notifying him about the situation. While this process takes place, the organization transfers a monthly financial allowance to cover all the essential needs of that child until the situation is resolved. “As a Saudi, this child deserves our support till we get him or her back home,” affirms Mr. Abdullah Al Homod.
Moral & Social Support:
In some situations, the child or family might not need any financial support. However what might be most needed is moral and sentimental support, or perhaps just to know that their country cares about them; this is another area Awasser aims to cover, by creating an uninterrupted connection with needy Saudi families while abroad. When the family returns home, Awasser maintains a connection to ensure that the new family is comfortable and settling well in their new surrounding. “We even have classes and camps to prepare them to fit right into the Saudi society, and learn how to blend in to become part of it,” adds Mr. Abdullah Al Homod.
Health Support:
The support Awasser provides is extended to providing any type of health or medical aid to any Saudi child or his/ her mother while away from home. “The fact that they are away from Saudi Arabia doesn’t mean they can’t get good medical attention. We’ll make sure they get the best treatment available wherever they are,” promises Mr. Al Homod.
Educational Support:
Not only does Awasser help in selecting the best educational institute available in the locality and pay for it, but they also help registering Saudi children in schools and colleges once they are back in Saudi Arabia.
Housing & Relocating:
Once the child and his family return to his or her country, the organization helps them find a home within an area they can adjust to, and settle well in. Awasser even covers the rent for the Saudi family until they manage to reach the level of financial stability which enables them to provide for themselves.
Awasser is currently developing a new website which they hope will help people find their relatives. They are also developing an online form that will speed up the process to reconnect all the Saudi threads together again.

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